One of those Mondays (3-5-18)

It’s Monday again and it’s been one of those days. I’m ready to just go to bed. So, I ordered pizza for dinner and now I’m going to raid my kids’ candy stash and sit and watch tv. Let’s hope that tomorrow is better.




Monday Disappointment (2-26-18)

Man am I disappointed with myself today. Recently I started going to boot camp, an exercise class. It’s three days a week at 5 am at a park. It’s early, dark, cold and hard but I’ve really been enjoying it. The first day I was supposed to start I woke up to get ready but my anxiety held me back and kept me from going. I convinced a friend to do it with me and haven’t had that anxiety about going. Until today. I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t go. I sat on the edge of my bed for twenty minutes trying to get myself up and ready. I finally went back to bed.

Have you ever had that happen to you? You have something to do, something you want to do or know you are capable of doing and you freeze. You can’t move. You can’t think. Sometimes you can’t breathe. And you for sure can’t get yourself up to do the thing you were going to do.

I don’t know why this happens. I know it’s anxiety. I know it can be debilitating. I know it’s frustrating. But I don’t know why, I just don’t understand it. What’s really hard is when it’s totally unpredictable. When it happens out of the blue you just can’t do anything to prepare for it. You’re just stuck. Frozen. Paralyzed.

If you’ve ever had this happen you know what I mean. And you’re not alone. I’m here fighting with you. So hang in there. I’ll hang in there too.



Monday Fail (2-19-18)

Hi there!

My baby threw up during the night but I didn’t know until I got him out of his crib this morning. I felt terrible. Poor baby was sick during the night and I didn’t even know. I felt like a big fat mom fail.

After getting him cleaned up he was happy and because the kids don’t have school today I decided to take them to Chick fil A for breakfast. We had barely gotten on the freeway when he threw up again! Back home we went. Once again I felt like I failed.

Did I fail? Am I a mom failure? No. No I’m not. And neither are you. We are so hard on ourselves. We think if we don’t do things that are Pinterest worthy we have failed. Mom fail. Dad fail. Pinterest fail. That’s all a lie. We are not failures. In fact, we are doing surprisingly well. We are doing better than we think and better than we give ourselves credit for.

The other day I was having a rough day. Instead of dwelling on all the things I could and should be doing and all the things I felt I was failing at I started making a list in my head of all the things I had accomplished that day. It was longer than I expected. Even though I so wanted to crawl back in bed I felt so much better after I gave myself credit for all the things I had done that day.

Thomas S. Monson said, “As we arise each morning let us determine to respond with more love and kindness to whatever might come our way.”

That includes responding with more love and kindness to our own personal “failures”.

None of us are failures. We are just trying to do the best we can and that counts for something.

You count for something. You matter. You are important. And you are by no means a failure.



Monday Love (2-12-18)

Hello and happy Monday.

We have a tradition where I put gifts inside little mailboxes each day before Valentine’s Day. My kids love it. Everyday they come home from school and check their mailbox. Inside they find a dollar store toy or candy or something small. It takes some planning and really it’s a waste of money but it’s a tradition that they look forward to. So I do it, every year.

“True love blooms when we care more about another person than we care about ourselves.” Jeffrey R. Holland

Sometimes I forget to care more about other people than myself. Sometimes it’s easier to be selfish than caring.

There are things I do care about. I care about my children, my husband, my family, my friends. I care about you. I care if you are having a good day or a bad day. So I hope you are having a good day. I hope you have a good week. I hope you have someone to say “I love you” to on Valentine’s Day.



Hard on yourself Monday (2-5-18)

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. The mom in E.T. Had an alien living in her house for days and didn’t notice,”

Don’t be so hard on yourself… Easier said than done but oh so important.

I have been beating myself up lately. I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, my house isn’t clean enough, I’m not teaching my kids enough, I’m too lazy, I’m not eating right, I’m not exercising enough, I complain too much, I’m not good, I’m not pretty, I’m not funny, I can’t do anything right. Well, there’s one thing I can do really well and that is beat myself down. There is too much in this world to pull us down, we shouldn’t add to it.

Today I am telling myself, “if there is one good thing I accomplish today that is to be kind to myself.” It’s so much easier, I think, to be kind towards others. I can forgive someone else much easier than I can forgive myself. I can see the good in another long before I can see the good in myself. I see all the things I think are bad and I start to think that I am bad. I feel all the negative and I start to become negative. I hate all those feelings and I start to hate myself. Everyone else is unhappy because of me. So not true but it’s true that I tell myself that. It’s exhausting. It takes work and effort and time to think all those thoughts and to feel all those feelings. It’s just not good. It’s just not worth it. I am more valuable than that. My time is too precious to waste on that. And so is yours. Let’s be kind to ourselves today and this week. Let’s stop being so hard on ourselves.



Strong Monday (1-29-18)


This weekend I witnessed a sweet moment between my children. I heard Lucy reading out loud. I peeked in the room to see her and Jackson curled up on our big chair. Lucy was reading “What to Do With an Idea” and “What to Do With a Problem” (great children’s picture books that everyone should read) our loud to Jackson.

This brought tears to my eyes for several reasons. One, my kids were doing something together other than arguing. Two, they were snuggled close together. Three, Lucy was providing a loving service to Jackson. And finally, Jackson, the older brother, was accepting that service.

This might seem like an “ahh, that’s sweet moment” to most but for me it was an incredible moment. I’ve mentioned before how Jackson has dyslexia. That kid is brilliant and loves to learn but school is hard. He works three times as hard to read and write and it’s exhausting. Watching a simple thing like one child reading to the other is huge. It shows a great deal of compassion on Lucy’s part and an incredible amount of humility on Jackson’s.

I learned something from Jackson that day. I watched him own his problem and put his pride aside for something bigger.

It made me think about the problems and challenges in my life that I hide and refuse to ask or accept help for. How much better would my life be if I could be like Jackson and say, “This is my struggle. I’m not going to let it own me and I’m not going to be ashamed of it. I’m going to face it and ask for help when I need it. I’m not going to let it get in my way.” I think I might try it.

Well, my friends, please have a lovely day and a great week. Instead of hiding let’s take ownership and do something great.



Cold Monday (1-22-18)

Good morning friends. Today is a rare day. It’s currently 45 degrees outside. For being in Arizona that is COLD!

Today I just want to curl up in bed and stay there all day. With it being so cold (cold for me) it doesn’t help me want to get up and get going. But that’s exactly what I’m doing. Some friends invited me to go to the zoo with them today. While our bigger kids are at school we are taking our littles out to play. We might regret being outside but we are doing it anyway. And I’m glad, sort of. It’s pushing me up and out the door. Although I really really want to just go back to bed I made a commitment and I’m sticking with it.

I don’t know why I’ve been so bleh lately. It’s been going on for awhile now and I’m kind of sick of it. And I feel guilty. Mostly because of the affect it has on my family. Who wants to live with a lazy slob? Thankfully I have a very patient husband (who also makes me cakes for no reason) and very kind friends who check up on me. That means the world to me. I want you to know that you mean the world to me. I want to be that friend who checks in on you. So this is me checking in. How are you doing? How are you really doing? Please know that you are loved and that you matter.